I Hate October 26

10 years ago today, my Nana passed away. She had cancer. It had started out as breast cancer. And she survived. It came back. Worse. Eventually, it got to her brain. We were told, in October, that she'd live well into the New Year. She passed away 2 weeks later. She was 63.

My Nana taught me a LOT. We would go to Springwater for weekends, and in the summer. She taught me how to play piano. She let me paint & craft to my heart's content. She got me interested in Job's Daughters, and so many other wonderful things.

We always had "big plan" when we went to Springwater. One year, for my birthday, she desgined a maple leaf cookie cutter for me, for my birthday (the day after Canada Day). We made cookies, iced them with red & white icing, & then we gave them to all her neighbors. One Christmas, Nana, mom, my 2 sisters & I went carolling. We made little forts with shingles in the winter, she would help do up floorplans.

She & Papa took my 2 sisters & I to the circus one year, and to a carnival, I forget where it was now, but I won $15 playing bingo. She would drive us to Calgary, to see mom, and a couple years before she passed away, she started taking me, my 2 sisters, & my 2 stepsisters to the water springs. We always did something new & exciting, and she was just as excited as us. So many memories. I'm remembering even more, as I write this. I need to write them down, so I can remember, & talk to my sisters to see if they remember.

Today. I hate today. I hate October 26. Today, Garth's grandpa very well might pass away. He has been sick for a long time. He had a stroke last December, 10 days after his 85th birthday.

I remember his birthday. The boys & I met Lucy (Garth's mom) at Co-Op. Every morning, Grandpa Otto walked to Co-Op to have coffee with the "boys". That morning, Doreen, Lucy's sister, arranged for the "boys" to have cake for Grandpa's birthday, so before I took the boys to school, we stopped for cake (my boys were thrilled! Chocolate cake for breakfast!!), and to chat. 10 days later, he couldn't talk.

The stroke made him unable to speak. His right side was paralyzed. In January, Grandma Irene moved him to Sasko Park Lodge. We visited a bit, not as much as we should have. He would zoom around in his wheelchair, using his one good leg. He'd crash into people. If Grandma was late, he'd show his worry by hitting her with his chair. Once, I had to stand on a chair so he wouldn't pin my leg under my chair.

He ALWAYS asked about the boys, in his non verbal ways. If Garth & I went to visit him without Anson & Ryden, he'd get mad. Huff & roll his eyes at us. We're not allowed to go see him now. Lucy doens't want us, any of us, to remember him right now, & would rather we remember him halfway healthy. I wish we could, just once, hug him, say goodbye, love you. I hate October 26.